My Heart Will Go On
by Fyrewing of CinderClan
Summary: Is Firestar content with his mate or does he still long for Spottedleaf? Another one-shot songfic by the mighty Fyrepaw. SpottedxFirexSand. Includes what happened to SkyClan after Firestar and Sandstorm left.


**This is another one-shot, this time of SpottedxFirexSand. I've been torn between Spottedleaf and Sandstorm ships for a while; I can't decide which one is better. I know for certain the first is sadder, but the second turned out so well. Meh.**

**Anyway, the song is My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion. Yeah, you've probably heard of her. The lyrics fit if you think about it. If you haven't read my other one-shots, read 'em. Don't Let Go for Graystripe and Silverstream, Why? for Crowpaw and Feathertail. Y'know you want to, read 'em!**

**I will NOT write any more one-shots until I get some REVIEWS!! C'mon, review, people, it's not that hard. Click on the button in the bottom left corner. Do it. Please. Please. For the sake of one-shot songfic shipping. Thank you Riverlee and The Moon Wolf for reviewing on my other one-shots.**

**I do not own Warriors. Erin Hunter does. Jeez, by now you guys should know that! On another subject, this is my longest one-shot yet. Yeay!! I need more songs and ships, guys. Suggestions please!!**

**Firestar and Spottedleaf: My Heart Will Go On**

It was a cold night in ThunderClan territory. Bitingly chill wind rustled into Firestar's den, ruffling his fur, and he instinctively snuggled closer to Sandstorm's warm sleeping body. If it was this cold at the beginning of leaf-bare, he hated to think of how cold it would be later on.

Would the hunting patrols be able to find enough prey? Would Leafpool have enough catnip if greencough broke out? Would the newest kits in the nursery, Icekit and Foxkit, survive? He worried about these and many other things; that was the job of a leader. A leader had to spend all night lying in the darkness, thinking about what could befall his Clan. He thought he had realized that before Bluestar died, but when she left him leader, it had been a hard blow.

He couldn't think how he could have gotten through it without Sandstorm. She had been so understanding about all of his leadership problems, and walked by his side in the Great Journey. When Firestar had gone to look for SkyClan, she had come with him. Yet he still wondered what it would have been like if Spottedleaf had lived.

Could she have alleviated his worries like Sandstorm did? Could she have hunted more on her own than a whole patrol in a day like Sandstorm did? No, she probably couldn't have. But she could have helped him in other ways, listening to his dreams and healing his warriors.

But she hadn't lived. No. She had died many seasons ago, and now the only place he could see her, talk to her, was in his dreams.

_Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you  
That is how I know you go on_

She had come with them from the old territories, traveling with the five Clans across the mountains and the skies. She had spanned that great distance and told him how to guide his Clan in his dreams. She had helped Sandstorm heal a SkyClan warrior when Firestar had thought he was going to die.

_Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on_

Sighing, he curled up in a tighter ball and closed his eyes. Maybe she would visit him tonight. He felt a little guilty, dreaming about Spottedleaf right next to Sandstorm, but it wasn't enough to keep him from trying to sleep.

It took over an hour for him to fall asleep, with all of the worries about leaf-bare. As always, he didn't notice when he unconsciously slipped into dreamland, not until he found himself standing in the middle of a clearing. It looked like ThunderClan's camp, back in the old territories. It was full summer, with none of the chill, biting wind in the waking world.

"Spottedleaf?" he called. His voice echoed around the empty camp. Sadness flooded him when the medicine cat didn't answer, and he plodded across the clearing to the den that had belonged to three different cats in his time. Spottedleaf, Yellowfang, Cinderpelt...all of them dead. Why was the world so cruel?

He remembered the first time he had been in this den. Spottedleaf had met him at the entrance, guiding him in to the little clearing where she'd put poultices on his wounds. He remembered how her gentle amber eyes had sparkled as she'd patted the sticky herbs on, laughing when he jumped at the sting.

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here, in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on_

He had Sandstorm now. He knew that. But there were some things about Spottedleaf that Sandstorm could never be, and vice versa. Which one did he really love most? Cats said that you never forgot your first love. Did that mean Spottedleaf was the right one for him?

_Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go 'till we're one_

Sandstorm or Spottedleaf? It was a question he knew he would never really be able to resolve. Both she-cats had something for him. There was only one crucial difference: Spottedleaf belonged to the past, whereas Sandstorm was here and now.

"Not in my dreams," he whispered to himself. "Spottedleaf is with me then."

As if on cue, the bracken at the side of the den swayed and Spottedleaf stepped out. Her eyes met his, shining for a moment as both of them were silent. Then Firestar stepped forward with a sigh of contentment. "Spottedleaf."

Spottedleaf licked his shoulder comfortingly. "And how is life as ThunderClan's leader?"

"Hard," Firestar admitted. "It always will be. But I'm handling it."

"They couldn't have a better leader," Spottedleaf murmured. "You guided them through the Great Journey, and no Clan has defeated ThunderClan in battle since you've been their leader."

Firestar smiled. Spottedleaf knew how to cheer him up when he was feeling down. But then again, so did Sandstorm.

"You're troubled," she said matter-of-factly, pulling away and looking him in the eyes. "And I know what about. Firestar, Sandstorm is your mate. You should be loyal to her."

"I try," Firestar said bitterly. "But meeting you here, now, is that loyal?" A moment after he said that, he regretted it. Would Spottedleaf be offended? But her eyes only twinkled gently. He should have known better; it would take more than careless words to distance her from him.

"That's for you to decide," Spottedleaf purred, looking more content than Firestar had ever seen her in life. "I'm not you, or a Clan leader. There are some things I can't advise you on."

Firestar nodded. "I know." He wished he could think of a way to tell her that she was helping him just with her presence. There would never be another cat like Spottedleaf...or Sandstorm.

_Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on_

"I miss you," he said on impulse. "Leaf-bare is coming. I'm afraid the kits will catch greencough."

"Your daughter is an excellent medicine cat," Spottedleaf reminded him.

"I know. Almost as good as you."

"Better." Spottedleaf stopped his protests with her tail and beckoned with a paw. "Come on. I want to show you something." Removing her tail from his mouth, she took a great leap and landed in a treetop. She kept bounding from tree to tree until she was out of sight.

"I can't do that!" Firestar yowled after her.

"Try," her voice whispered from somewhere ahead. Gritting his teeth in concentration, he clawed his way up a tree and stood on a high branch, looking around for her. "You're trying too hard. Just jump, and trust it."

He closed his eyes, felt the smooth power in his hind legs, and leaped. Air rushed by, and he didn't land for a long time. With his eyes still closed, he leaped again. Finally he dared to open them.

"I'm flying!" he mewed. "This is amazing!" He was leaping from treetop to treetop just as Spottedleaf was doing, barely touching the topmost leaves before taking off again like a bird. "Where are we going?"

"Trust me," she called, her lithe form leaping over the trees ahead of him. "Close your eyes again."

He obeyed, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them, he was standing on the top of a heap of rocks - Highstones - but only for a moment, leaping again and landing on a tall Twoleg nest in a Twolegplace. He followed Spottedleaf as she leaped over the Twolegplace and landed on the edge of a ravine.

"Where are..." He trailed off as he gazed into the ravine and realized where they were. SkyClan territory. On the other side of the ravine was the camp, just as he remembered it - and it was bustling with cats. Many more warriors than when he had known while he was there were eating fresh-kill, sharing tongues, training apprentices.

He didn't wait for Spottedleaf before jumping into the middle of the SkyClan camp. As he had expected, none of the cats could see him or Spottedleaf, who jumped down behind him. "Follow me," she murmured, her eyes sparkling, and led him into a cave.

He recognized it immediately. The medicine cat's den, where Spottedleaf had helped Sandstorm heal a wounded SkyClan warrior. "Echosong?" he gasped as he saw a familiar silver-pelted she-cat in the back of the den. Of course, the medicine cat couldn't hear him. He let his eyes travel over his old friend's form. She looked completely healthy, and the stock of herbs in the large den had definitely grown. There was a tom in the outer den holding a cut paw up and wincing, and a white she-cat who looked like an apprentice following Echosong around.

"She's got an apprentice?" he asked wonderingly, turning to Spottedleaf. "SkyClan survived! This is amazing."

"Did you see how many cats there are?" Spottedleaf asked, her eyes shining. Firestar realized that she looked quite as happy as he did to see that SkyClan had survived and was thriving. After all, she had played a part in helping them.

This was the den where Sandstorm had realized how he really felt about Spottedleaf. This was the den where he had struggled gamely to explain how he couldn't choose between them. This was the den where Spottedleaf had helped him once again.

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on_

"Thank you, Spottedleaf," he purred, wrapping his tail around the medicine cat. She leaned her dappled head on his, gazing at Echosong and her apprentice bustling around the den.

"It's time for me to go," Spottedleaf whispered, and her form dissolved into starlight, his tail wrapped around nothing.

He woke to the black night, the cold wind and a warm tail wrapped around his shoulders. Sandstorm was lying awake in the darkness, her green eyes glinting. "Dreaming, were you?"

Firestar shivered, and it wasn't because of the wind. He had a feeling he'd said more than he should in his sleep. Deciding to change the subject, he said, "Sandstorm, I saw SkyClan. There's lots of cats - and they're all healthy. Leafstar did a great job."

Sandstorm's eyes sparked. "Did Spottedleaf show you that?"

Firestar sighed. It sounded loud in the dark den. "Sandstorm, you've got to understand. Spottedleaf is a great cat - " Sandstorm's hackles bristled " - but she's not the same cat as you. There's no other cat like you. And I made my choice long ago."

Sandstorm let her hackles lay flat. "Do you mean that, Firestar?" Her green eyes were all that Firestar could see clearly in the darkness; they glinted warningly. "Because if you don't, I promise you'll regret lying to me, Firestar."

"I mean it," Firestar said softly.

He couldn't see his mate's smile, but he could sense it. "Well then, that changes things," she whispered. "I trust you, Firestar." Her tail curled around his.

"I love you, Sandstorm." He meant it. "I want to stay with you forever, Sandstorm." It may have sounded corny, but that was the way he felt. Warm in her embrace, breathing in her sweet scent - that was where he wanted to stay for the rest of his life.

_You're here, there's nothing I fear  
And I know that my heart will go on  
We'll stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on_

The night wasn't cold anymore. On the contrary, it felt as warm as Sandstorm's fur.

_And on..._


End file.
